Making friends in Los Angeles is hard. It's a big, spread-out city where everyone drives, plans get canceled because of traffic, and the people you meet at a party live 45 minutes away. If you just moved here, or you've been here a while and your circle has thinned out, you're not alone. It's one of the most common things people say about living in LA.
One of the best fixes is also one of the simplest: join a rec sports league. Not because you need to be athletic, but because a league solves the problems that make friendships in LA so hard to start. This guide explains why it works and how to get the most out of it.
Why rec leagues work for making friends
Most ways of meeting people as an adult have the same problem. You meet someone once, you have a good conversation, and then you never see them again. Turning a stranger into a friend takes repeated time together, and adult life doesn't give you much of that by default.
A league does. You see the same people at the same time and place every week for two or three months. You don't have to come up with plans or a reason to text someone. The schedule is the plan. By week four, you know who's funny, who always brings snacks and who's going to the bar after.
You also have something to do together. Talking to strangers is a lot easier when you're both trying to figure out who's covering second base. The game gives you an easy way into conversation, and the shared wins and losses give you something to talk about after.
And a league is local. In a city as big as LA, that matters. The people you play with on a Tuesday night in Culver City probably live or work somewhere nearby. That makes it a lot more likely you'll actually see them outside of the league.
Pick a social sport
Some sports are better for meeting people than others. The best ones for making friends have a few things in common: lots of people per team, downtime during games for talking, low skill barriers and a post-game hangout culture.
Great choices for making friends
- Kickball. The classic social league. Easy to play, lots of downtime on the bench and usually tied to a local bar. Our guide to co-ed kickball leagues in LA covers how it works.
- Co-ed softball. Similar social setup, with a bit more skill involved.
- Indoor volleyball. Six people on a court, lots of high fives and a game that rewards teamwork.
- Bowling, cornhole and skeeball. Very low key. You can talk the whole time.
- Dodgeball. Silly, loud and easy to laugh at yourself.
Sports that work if you already play
If you played soccer, basketball or volleyball seriously, a league in that sport is still a great way to meet people. Just know that more competitive divisions can be more focused on the game and less on the hang. A recreational division is usually more social.
You can browse every sport on the sports page to see what's out there.
Join solo, not with your one friend
This sounds backwards, but if your goal is meeting people, joining alone often works better than joining with a friend. When you show up with someone you know, it's natural to stick with them. When you show up solo, you have to talk to your new teammates, and they know you're new, so they make an effort too.
Most social leagues let you register as an individual, often called a free agent, and place you on a team. Teams made up of free agents are especially good for this, since nobody already knows each other. Our guide on how to join a sports league without a team walks through how that works.
Tip: If going alone feels like too much, ask the league if you can join as a pair with one friend. You'll still meet a full team of new people, with a familiar face nearby.
Show up early and stay late
Most of the friend-making doesn't happen during the game. It happens in the 15 minutes before and the hour after.
Get there a few minutes early
Arriving early means you meet teammates one or two at a time instead of walking up to a whole group. It's much easier to say "Hey, I'm new, I signed up solo" to one person than to ten.
Learn a few names
You won't remember everyone in week one. Pick two or three names and use them. It makes you feel part of the team quickly, and people notice.
Say yes to the bar after
If the team goes somewhere after the game, go. Even if you're tired, even if you only stay for one drink or a soda. This is where people stop being teammates and start being friends. The conversations are longer, nobody's thinking about the score, and it's where someone mentions a birthday party or a beach day and invites you along.
Common mistake: Skipping the post-game hang for the first few weeks "until you know people better." The post-game hang is how you get to know people better.
Become a regular
The biggest thing you can do is keep showing up. Friendships build through repetition, and a league only works if you're there.
- Don't miss games unless you really have to. Being reliable is the fastest way to become someone the team counts on.
- Sign up for the next season with the same team. The second season is when it really clicks. You already know everyone, and now you start making plans outside the league.
- Take the group chat seriously. Respond, share photos, suggest the post-game spot. Small things add up.
- Invite people to other things. Once you know a few people, suggest a weekend hike or a game watch. Most people are waiting for someone else to ask.
One season of a rec league gives you around eight or ten guaranteed hangouts with the same group of people.
When to sign up
Leagues open registration a few weeks before each season, and popular nights fill up. If you just moved here, don't wait until you feel settled. The league is part of how you get settled.
If nothing near you is open right now, set an alert and we'll email you when a league you'd like opens up.
A little about why I built this
I'm Kyle, the founder of LeagueFindr. After college, my first adult league was a frustrating experience, and organizing games with friends was hard because there was no good technology for it. LeagueFindr exists to make the first step easier: seeing what's open near you, on a night you're free, in one place.
Find your people this season
LA can feel big and hard to break into. A rec league makes it smaller. Same people, same night, every week, and usually somewhere nearby to hang out after. Pick a social sport, sign up solo and say yes to the hang after.